Posts tagged personal.

Rewatching old videos, looking at old pictures, rereading old messages, all that shit just is not the business. It pisses me off knowing how fucked up you did me but yet I still think about it. I still hold that “fuck her” thought in my head and by having that, it still shows that I care. I wish I could just NOT care. It’d make my life so much easier. I fucking hate how much of an impact you made on me that now I can’t help but think about it. It pisses me off how at one point I kept thinking back on how I could of prevented everything from happening but then I remember how dirty you did me and it just makes me feel so stupid. I hate how much shit we went through. How many times I cried for you. How much I opened myself up to you. Because now I feel like I didn’t even mean shit to you. I would have so much more respect for you if you would have been honest with me. I even asked you and told you how I felt like you weren’t over her but you would reassure me. But I always had that gut feeling telling me something. But I didn’t pay attention to it. I should have. I know my gut feeling is always right but I just couldn’t bring myself to acknowledge it. It’ll take some time for me, but I will for fucking sure get to that point where I’m done thinking about it. I’m done with thinking about you, whether it’s a good or bad thought. You were a part of my life and now it’s time for me to put you in the past for good.